mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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