those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Someone shattered a urinal.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
