it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
