Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
