is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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