I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
