There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
