Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
