He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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