I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
