I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
