dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We have started to decorate penises.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
