my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Green mimosas i think yes
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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