I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
