ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I want a musical about memes.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
