my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just found puke in my bra..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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