my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
