I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wish i was in the wii world.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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