rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
