we're blogging at a bar
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
