a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Randomize
