**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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