People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
