I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
