The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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