i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
