I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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