I smell stomach acid.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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