I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
