There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
