I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
