Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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