You made me cry and you don't even care
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
