Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
