are you still at the devil's house?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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