I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
