I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
it was like his penis was on wheels.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
