I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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