I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
