Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
