Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
