Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
