Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
