I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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