is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
