areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
