I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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