I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
