he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
