oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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