I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
