I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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